Creating your Community through Pole
Before 2020 came around, I thought 2018 was one of the most challenging years ever! I took a few months away from pole & when I returned many of those I started my pole journey with were no longer around. I was struggling to find motivation to continue pole with some extra weight and my pole community gone. I needed to find a way to become motivated again, so I signed up for my first Black Girls Pole retreat and my idea of community changed. I took a chance, became comfortable with being uncomfortable, and created authentic bonds.
Take a Chance
I made a decision to go on a retreat without any friends to join me. I was terrified to leave the country by myself for the first time, but took a chance to expose myself to a new experience with new people. I figured anyone who does pole has already decided to break a “social norm” so at the very least we can all relate on that level. Someone had to be cool right? This can apply to many situations… see that person you’ve been following on Social Media for years but never met in person? Take a chance & say “Hi!”
Be Comfortable, Being Uncomfortable
It often feels most comfortable for me to sit back, observe, and not show my whole self until I feel people out. I realized in doing that I was missing out. I also was now in an environment where I didn't know anyone and would be leaving in a week, I had no reason to fear being judged. It was uncomfortable at first to approach new people but I got comfortable with being uncomfortable. After having conversations with most of the women on the retreat eventually “Hype Woman Tink” came out in full force. Little did I know I was not the only “Hype Woman” in the group. Not ready to go full force and open up to a large group? Start with short one on one conversations. Find someone to take a walk to get lunch with you, ask a tip on a trick you’re both working on, introduce yourself to the person who appears to be the shyest in the room (they may surprise you).
Create Authentic Bonds
With each conversation I had, I was able to identify something in each person I respected, wanted to learn more about, or could relate to and a bond was created. Those I created the closest bonds with I’ve stayed connected to even from across the Nation… and World. There are qualities in every person you can appreciate and reasons to stay in touch. There will also be some people you naturally gravitate towards & vibe with, be aware of those individuals and what connects you, they are a part of your community.
What attracted me most to pole was the community. I was discouraged when I thought mine was gone but quickly learned community isn’t something that just exists, you create it.I now have a global community I can hype up on social media, crash with if I’m in town, turn up with, vent to, will wait late night at the ER for me, hype up my Iron X & can identify with me as someone living with anxiety. Each friendship is different, all special, all make up my pole community.